What Christmas Means to Me.
Christmas is for Everyone.
My mother loved Christmas and went out of her way to make it super special. We celebrated it culturally but given that my family was not religious, it was a social time. I think of Christmas as non-religious in Nigeria. Everyone celebrated it, Christians and Muslims alike. It was party time! Of course, Christians found it meaningful but you would never just give gifts to only your Christian friends - everyone got gifts!
And we all would say, “Compliments of the Season” and “Merry Christmas“ to each other.
And Christmas clearly was about the children. All the children!
It was a time of fantasy, of imagining the impossible, of the anticipation of gifts, and a time of all good things. And we were out of school so that was wonderful.
As I get older, Christmas is deeply significant to my spiritual journey. For me, it is a time to connect with God and reflect on the gift of Life, and the gifts that my life has to share with the world.
Now that my mother is not around, I have a default setting of spending Christmas with people who are family or “feel” like family. Nothing fancy. Sweatpants and casual clothes. Thoughtful small gifts. Maybe even no gifts. No arguments. Good food. Lots of hugs. Carols. Seasonal songs. Lots of lounging around. But all the warm fuzzies…. Ahhhh….. That’s Christmas to me. I look at family pictures. I pray. I write. I journal. I hope. I desire. I connect. I feel wistful at Christmas as I really miss my childhood and my parents. It is a tender time for me.
The gift of my childhood (Yes, with Father Christmas (Santa), etc.) was that Christmas was secular, and the entire environment we saw it as a community event where you closed out a year thoughtfully and with celebration and you allowed for religious pluralism. Christmas celebrated the fact that as Christians, religiously and culturally, we had the right to celebrate Christmas right alongside our Muslim neighbors, family members, and community. They celebrated this difference with us. And we all ate Jollof rice and fried chicken (no batter - yuck!) together. They were happy that we were celebrating and when it was their turn to celebrate Ramadan and Eid Al-Fitr, they included us as well.
By the way, when I came to the US, it was so bizarre to see a white Santa. I was scared of them. This was Santa to me. My mother diligently took us every year for this treat. And yes, this is such a warped image heralding the colonized concept of Father Christmas, but roll with me for now. The essence of the time is what is important here.
Plot Twist
A few weeks ago, I was listening to NPR and they announced, “Christmas is canceled in Bethlehem.” I was stupefied. I don’t care what is going on in the world, Christmas is uncancellable!!!! How do you cancel Christmas?
My brain dug up a familiar Christmas memory that would normally bring a smile to my lips. I heard my pastor, my adopted father’s rich baritone voice ringing into a crescendo:
Lift up your heads No need to mourn His hand is stretched out still For unto us a child is born His promise to fulfillJerusalem! He cried for you He did not come to us in vain His loving arms are open wide for you And he will come He will come again
Tears welled up as my brain tried to conceive what it could mean to cancel Christmas. The loss of innocence. The deprivation of joy. The sadness. The emptiness.
But the song…..
Hope. Love. Freedom. Connection. Presence. A Future.
Bethlehem morning Is more than just a memory For the Child that was born there Has come to set us free Bethlehem sunrise I can see Him in your eyes For the Child that was born there His spirit never dies His star will never, will never grow dim And it's a brand-new dawn A new Jerusalem And we and we will reign We will reign with him
I thought about the children. All the children. Christians believe that Jesus was born in Bethlehem which is located in the West Bank, about 5 miles south of Jerusalem.
Bethlehem morning Is more than just a memory For the Child that was born there Has come to set us free Bethlehem sunrise I can see it in your eyes For the Child that was born there Is the King of kings And the Lord of lords And He will come again. (Written by Morris Chapman)
I acknowledge that some of the words of this song may be offensive to those who do not share my faith tradition. There are some theological underpinnings about Christmas and this hymn that may support, or not support, opinions and positions regarding the current crisis in the Levant area of the Middle East. That is not the point. That is a post for another day. Just roll with me for now, ok?
Bethlehem is sacred. To me.
As if that was not enough to depress the hell out of me, I saw this.
And, yes, you can well imagine that the “white Santa” is not working for me. But….. Again…… roll with me here. That is neither here nor there!! Don’t get distracted!
When I saw this cartoon (no attribution because I don’t know the source), this took me out.
Global Frame
On October 7th, the world became more aware of an ongoing long-term war (75 years) due to the attack of Hamas, a militant Palestinian group, on innocent Israeli citizens. This offensive attack on Israel by Hamas was the bloodiest in Israel’s 75-year history.
In Chrononlogcial Order
On October 7th, at least “36 children, of whom 20 were under 15 years old and the youngest was a 10-month-old baby” were killed by Hamas.
In addition, on the same day, Hamas kidnapped more than 35 young Israeli children and teenagers.
On November 26, Hamas released 8 children after holding them hostage for 50 days.
As of December 1, Israel released 157 Palestinian children, who had been detained but never charged.
The Uncountables
We don’t know, and cannot know, the exact number of children who have been killed in Gaza.
Best estimates consider the children's death toll to be approximately 8,000. The total number of people as of December 22 is 20,057 with about 70% of those killed being women and children.
The 20,057 figure represents almost 1% of Gaza's 2.2 million population and they have been killed mostly by Israel’s 29,000 air-to-ground bombs, some weighing up to 200 pounds.
The Babies
I always wanted children.
I cannot imagine the ache in the bellies of the mamas of any child who was killed in this war.
Bombs.
I grieve for those lives, both mamas and children, but I also grieve for the children who remain alive and have to grow up in such fear - the fear of being killed.
I am almost grateful for not having children because to lose a child like this (really, in any way) is too much heartache to bear.
Bombs. On babies.
The babies, y’all. The babies. (Even an 18-year-old, or older, is still a baby to his mama.)
The babies.
That is the bottom line for me. The babies.
This Matter of Difference
When we cannot manage, appreciate, and embrace ethnic and religious differences, we humans resort to harming the children of “the other.” We do not see the beauty of difference.
When we harm the babies, it means we do not have a hope for their future. We do not want them to continue their lineage.
Here is the conundrum. If I do not have a hope for you, then how can I have a hope for me? The cost of my hope is your destruction? The destruction of your children? That is not hope. That is playing God.
The fundamental belief is that I cannot exist with your difference. Therefore, I must obliterate your present and your future.
This belief is antithetical to the Christmas message.
When people choose to believe they have “no power,” they resort to violence.
As long as worldly powers greed for land and resources,
As long as worldly powers desire the elimination of humans who are different, and
As long as worldly powers resort to killing babies violently, raping their future, and extinguishing their light,
There is no Hope, no Love, and no Freedom.
Christmas does not exist in that context.
What is Christmas?
It is a mere Hope. It is a celebration of the Love of a Benevolent Universe to us, mere humans. It is an invitation by Divine Intelligence to trust that human difference is intentional and wise. It is a morning of hope.
Christmas is a reminder that we have a moral compass somewhere in us and hope ignites it.
What is more hopeful than a new baby with a life of hope and goodness ahead?
Where is our moral compass when we can destroy the precious lives of babies because they belong to “the other?”
Christmas is Cancelled Indeed
Yes, because Santa is very busy looking for the bodies of children in Gaza, hoping against hope, that maybe one will be found alive.
God save the babies. May God preserve the innocence of all the babies that survive this abhorrence.
Amen.
Oh, Iyabo❣️This touches my heart in so many ways. Christmas has always been a struggle for me, but while your message is sobering, it is also healing for me. For the children. All the children deserve peace and a lifetime.