Culture and Self Image

#3 - Prompts for Journaling, Meditation, and Conversation.

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Friends, I am trying to get one article a day written this month. And I am already behind! So, please work with a sista! But this stuff has been in my head for years like puzzle pieces and it takes time to figure out where the pieces fit together. I had a whole Masterplan written out but when I started the individual pieces, it got complex. Thank you for being patient and understanding with me as I sort this out. We will get there. 😜🥰

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In the last article, we addressed our socialization and how it is automated. We enter into it unconsciously. Today, we discuss one key socialization aspect.

"Do we need to bother about culture? [Everyone has their] ... unique personality, history, and interest. At the same time, we share our human nature. We are group animals. We use language and empathy, and practice collaboration and inter-group competition. The unwritten rules of how we do these things differ from one human group to another. 'Culture' is how we call these unwritten rules about how to be a good member of the group."¹

Humans as social beings must organize ourselves into cultures, communities, and even nation states. Each organizing entity is a society and establishes their dimensions of culture. Per Geert Hofstede, a Dutch social psychologist who did a pioneering study of cultures across modern nations, six foundational pillars shape cultures. These all exist on a spectrum that runs roughly from 0 to 100. These dimensions inform what we are socialized on, which in turn shapes our identities and our self image.

Hofstede defines culture as: “The collective programming of the mind distinguishing the members of one group or category of people from others.” Although our mental programing is partly unique, it is also partly shared with others. A good example is language. We all have our own individual ways of speaking - tone, diction, and preference for vocabulary, but we all speak English.

Today, we explore one dimension of collective programming in culture: Collectivism versus Individualism.

Collectivism

Collectivism is on one end of the spectrum as a dimension of a culture. It is defined as "a tightly knit framework in society in which individuals can expect their relatives or members of a particular in group to look after them in exchange for unquestioning loyalty.” A society’s position on this dimension is reflected in whether people’s self-image is defined in terms of 'I' or 'we.' The ingroup/outgroup dynamic is strong in collectivist cultures.

In our collectivist societies:

• We emphasize building skills and becoming master of something that can serve the larger group. Many Nigerians grow up knowing they will be doctors, lawyers or engineers as those are the preferred skills to develop our communities.

• We value wisdom as a desired trait as it reflects positively on the collective. No matter how much knowledge you accumulate, wisdom is more respected.

• We tend to work for intrinsic rewards. A person sleeps well at night knowing they did a good job rather than looking for external validation from others.

• We value maintaining harmony among group members and this can override moral issues. For instance, not reporting a child molester to keep the family name respectable. 😭

• We often suppress feelings and emotions that may endanger harmony. We want our feelings and emotions to mirror the larger group's sentiment. Blind loyalty.

• We avoid giving negative feedback in public. It is considered criticism and a diminishment of the person’s status in the group.

• Saying "No" can cause loss of face unless it's intended to be polite. Collectivists are the ultimate people pleasers saying “yes” to all invitations.

  

Individualism

On the other end of the spectrum, Individualism is a dimension of a culture with "a loosely knit social framework in which individuals are expected to take care of only themselves and their immediate families." This is the extent to which people feel "independent," instead of being "interdependent" as members of the larger culture. The global Western hemisphere is mostly individualistic.² 

In our individualistic society, a person’s self-image is defined as “I.”

• We place a high value placed on people's time. If the appointment starts at 1 pm, it starts at 1 pm, not 3 pm as in a collectivist society.

• We honor the need for privacy and freedom. We do not just knock on a neighbor's door to say “hello.”

• We respect the privacy of others. We just don't ask nosey questions. Boundaries are expected and honored.

• We enjoy challenges and competition. The MVP of the team is valued over the team.

• We fully expect individual rewards for hard work. We want to be singled out and acknowledged for individual accomplishments within the group.

• We often do not mix our work life with our social lives. It is often not appropriate in a corporate setting to talk about your personal life unless it is during the "five-minute check in" at the weekly staff meeting.

• We encourage individual expression of ideas. We copyright and patent our own ideas and property.

• We tend to embrace debate for our ideas to win merit. Many people do not know how to receive the ideas of another. They immediately find fault with it and push back. This is often labeled “critical thinking.”

Now, please do not think in absolutes. Remember, all this is on a spectrum. There are many nonconformists in highly collectivists cultures, as well as many dependent and interdependent folks in individualistic cultures. It is a cultural spectrum and individual people operate differently. However, history does not have as much value in individualism as you are responsible for only your life but not the previous generation or future ones.

On the Hofstede scale, the US scored the highest globally on this dimension. My home country Nigeria scored 30 in contrast to the United States 91 score. That should give you a picture of the difference between both cultures in terms of individualism and collectivism. This high individualism score, combined with power dynamics and the culture of capitalism, complicates race issues.

In the US, we are all socialized into the larger national culture of individualism, while within our American ethnic groupings, I have observed that we practice more collectivists traits. In addition, suffering and oppression also can also cause a group in an individualistic society to bond stronger as a collective unit. Think of the Holocaust and Jewish people. That trauma and suffering is part of their identity. Ditto for African Americans. When we do not conform to the culture of individualism, we exclude.

The Impact of High Individualism on Racism

• Often white people, steeped in high levels of individualism, don’t even think they have a race. They also don’t think that they have anything to do with racism especially as they are not overtly racist, or they have never used the “N” word. This high sense of individualism can be blinding to the very people who are in positions of power to dismantle whiteness and create more belonging and inclusion in their organizations and communities.

“Whites are permitted to exist outside of racial identity, even though non-whites are constantly assigned racial labels. In other words, to be white enables one to retain a sense of individuality, while barring people of color from exercising that same right.” ~ Defining Whiteness: Perspectives on Privilege by Anna Lindner

• Even though there is more wealth and human rights in more individualistic countries, there is less compassion, interdependence, and the ability to “see” the other as individuals only see themselves as responsible for themselves. They often do not see themselves as part of the problem and think of it as something outside of them that has nothing to do with them. “Othering” happens to people who have needs and issues and need others to acknowledge and create repair. This is antithetical to individualism. Othering happens based on not conforming to the unspoken individualism rules in place.

• Individualism feeds right or wrong thinking as well as binary thinking. When something bad happens, the individual in this culture looks to blame someone. Occasionally, they take on the blame, but generally not. Someone else has to be the scapegoat. There is more “right” and “wrong” labeling, and retributive justice in such societies. After blame, shame ensues. Shame creates isolation. Shame is never a good teacher. Isolation means that you failed at the culture of individualism and so "othering" sets in.

• Underlying beliefs of othering such as “if Black people just worked harder” or “if they tried harder” or “did not commit a crime,” is part of the racism problem. Because of individualism programming, white people perceive Black people of having the equal systemic access and societal empowerment to improve their individual lives. Most white people find it very difficult to understand systemic racism because it was designed to uphold individualism.

• To establish equal opportunity, individualistic cultures create depersonalized systems that are supposed to be equalizing and blind to inbuilt prejudices and of course, that is not possible. Therefore, individual meritocracy appears to be the qualifying criteria for jobs, positions, etc. But clearly, it is not so. In alleviating blame, then no one gets to take responsibility for anything. And it becomes the fault of the other.

Please note collectivists societies are not all sunshine and roses. There are major problems with the more extreme ones, and even the moderate ones. Nigerians yell at me for not wearing the same fabric as everyone is wearing to a wedding to show solidarity. I just don’t believe in spending that amount of outrageous money even though the whole world loves it, and we are known for it.

If you are unaware of individualism versus collectivism, then you are going to find it difficult to experience racial healing and wholeness. You want to be aware of it in society around you, and within yourself to begin to neutralize it. High levels of individualism blind us to the other, to history and to our common humanity. We cannot heal and become whole in a single silo. We need each other to create a balance of individualism and collectivism.

I believe that to work on our collective racial healing and wholeness, we cannot do it alone. It must be done in community, and we must move away from being so strongly individualistic and become more collective minded. “What is good for the whole and not just me?” should be a question we ask when we find ourselves in a quagmire.

An Aside: Interestingly enough, English seems to be the only language that "I" (referring to me) is capitalized. In some other languages, the "y" in the equivalent "You" is sometimes capitalized. In some languages, the word "I" is taboo!!! (I found this fascinating!!!🤪🥰🙄)

Prompt

How do we, as white Americans, develop more collectivist traits and center the “we” over the “I?”

How do we, as the Global Majority, inform the individualistic societies where we function, with the wisdom of our collectivism? Are we modeling, thereby teaching, healthy collectivist attributes such as centering the needs of the most vulnerable in our societies? Are we aware of and honoring the communal values of collectivism? Or are we trying to assimilate by shedding our collectivist attributes and becoming “better than white people?”

https://geerthofstede.com/

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2. https://www.hofstede-insights.com/models/national-culture/